I think my nursing days are coming to an end. Little Mister is about to hit the 15 month mark and I think it's time. It's a little bittersweet. Or a lot bittersweet. Still, he has yet to be a great sleeper and I fear I've let nursing become a crutch for both of us. He is only in the last month sleeping from 7:30ish to 5:30ish, but several mornings he'll wake up between 4 and 6 wanting milk. If I nurse him there is a 50:50 chance he'll go back down. If I don't, he stays up, crying and we both start our days too early and too grumpy. He needs more sleep and I need to break the cycle he seems to be on. If he woke up happy and rested and then wanted to nurse, I might not be considering weaning. This past week has reaffirmed my decision on timing after a rough stay in a hotel over the weekend and a really tough two mornings for both baby and Husband while I was traveling. Little Mister has only had 2-3 bottles in his life, so it doesn't make sense to try to introduce a morning bottle now. He needs to transition to waiting for his (solid food) breakfast
He'll go to sleep easily without nursing. He will nurse happily if I'm home, but will also go down fine without me. I may try to keep the night session only, if my supply will keep up. I weaned Little A around this age too, but she wasn't as attached as he seems to be.
So, as I realize my days as a nursing mom are numbered, I can't help but look back and ponder.
I can't imagine feeding my babies any other way. Both kids were exclusively breastfeed and I'm proud of that. It wasn't always easy. It took a lot of commitment. With Little A I had to contend with pumping at work and when traveling. With Little Mister I had a series of very painful plugged ducts, coming almost weekly for a few months. I came really close to quitting with him because of that, but pushed through. Once I knew I was going back to work, I wanted to nurse him for the first months he was in day care to help with his immune system and to give him some bonding time. He still got sick a lot the first month, but I wonder if it would have been worse. Who knows?
I know not everyone can breastfeed. I do think everyone should try and should try for at least two months. It's considerably more challenging if you work outside of the home and my hat is off to all those working moms who pump for months. Not all jobs are flexible and some moms are, sadly, left with no choice. Still, I don't think breast-feeding is an all or nothing deal. Some breastmilk is better than none and I think most moms could find a balance.
For a stay-home mom, I don't see why you wouldn't nurse your baby. It makes life so much easier, especially if it's the second or third child. You can feed the baby while tending to your other kids without missing a beat. No running to the kitchen to make a bottle. No extra dishes to wash. No putting the older child on hold. It also gives so much freedom when you are out and about. No bottles or formula to bring along. No worries about being out longer than planned and not having an extra bottle or formula.
I'm not a 'lactavist.' Not much of a public nurser. I always choose a quiet corner or secluded bench. Yes, breast-feeding is natural, but no, I don't think that means everyone around needs to see. It is so easy to do it discretely and makes it more comfortable for everyone. In fact, I sometimes think the lactavists are harming their cause more than helping with their very public 'nurse-ins,' breast-feeding pictures on Facebook, nursing toddlers (and older) and overall in-your-face attitude. I wonder if some new moms and moms-to-be are scared by that and think that if that is the only way to breast-feed, they'll choose formula. I think Leche League is a bit of a mixed bag. On one hand, I found their website and books to be helpful when I had questions or problems, but, on the other hand, they are so all or nothing that it can be off putting. I remember picking up a copy of the LLL manifesto, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, when I was getting ready to go back to work with Little A, hoping to find some good tips about pumping and keeping up the nursing relationship when separated. Instead, in the chapter on working, most of the text is dedicated to trying to convince the mom to stay home and then, after laying on the guilty, acquiescing that if you must work (you horrible mom, you), you should try to bring your baby to work with you. Right. Because that is so very practical and realistic. So,my take was, instead of saying 'good for you, you want to keep nursing and take on the added challenge of pumping,' I was left with 'you unloving mom who is leaving her child, good luck to you both.' On a side note, Working Mom, Nursing Mom and So That's What They're For were both much more helpful.
I'm not sure if I can chase another tangent in this post.
Takeaways: breast-feeding: good, tough at times, so very worth it. Sleeping: also good and I hope we'll get more of it soon.
Oh, and I'll so miss the metabolic bonus. I suppose I'll have to watch what I eat a bit more now. And dig out my small bras (at least there is not trap door latch).